Car problems are scary. Often times, they end up costing large sums of money and impede your normal routine significantly. As such, here are some of the common types of car problems, as re-imagined by classic monster tropes. As always, if you have a problem make sure you put it on surfwrench.com. Let’s be real, car problems are a total monster, but luckily we’re kind like Van Helsing.
Dracula
Don’t get us wrong, Dracula is hella cool. What’s not cool? When you car sucks your bank account dry.
We all know that one person who — whether it be through necessity, love, or mental illness — keeps their car going long after it should have been taken out behind the woodshed. Often times, they have enough replacement parts to make an entirely new car, and it has cost them so much money that they feel obligated to keep them alive.
These cars are literally sucking their owners dry. They should really just move on, and if money is the issue, do a Surfwrench Used Car Check and put a stake in it.
Frankenstein
A Frankenstein car can be a blessing or a burden. We can help you keep your monster on the road.
Every car guy on planet earth has pulled a Dr. Frankenstein: pulling parts off of recently (or in some cases very long) dead cars. It really isn’t even that strange. Also, let’s be real, this saves everyone involved a LOT of money. Used parts are kind of awesome, not macabre. So celebrate that monster living in your driveway!
Zombie
Zombie cars may not be in production, but they still need gas…and parts…and maintenance!
Zombie cars are named such because they are wandering the earth without any support. Most of the ones in America are former GM stock, and a lot of them are still pretty good, with the notable exception of Hummer (as you may have read in our last used car review). Mostly they are such because the companies that made them didn’t have a clue, or no one wanted them. Thankfully, if you own a zombie car, chances are you can still have it fixed on Surfwrench.
Banshee
If you’re driving a Banshee, turning up the radio won’t fix the problem. But Surfwrench can!
A lot of the time, a car will tell you when something is wrong with it. The various sounds, grunts, howls, vibrations, shudders, etc can indicate small problems, to catastrophic ones. Often times, they get unbearable before something major happens (i.e. your fan clutch going and launching the fan through the hood…yeah, we’ve been there) If you think about it, your car listens to you singing, talking, and getting road rage all the time. You should listen to your car for a change.
Chupacabra
The Chupacabra comes in many forms, and all of them bleed your car of necessary fluids. Don’t sweat it, we’ve got your back.
If you have ever owned a car, it has invariably wet itself in some situation, quite literally. Sometimes it is a very slow leak that doesn’t even trigger a warning light until it’s completely out. Sometimes it’s like someone hit a femoral artery on a whale. Regardless, we know what it’s like to have fluids mysteriously disappear, and our techs are here to help.
The Sirens
A Siren may look sweet on the outside, but all they want to do is orchestrate your demise. Proceed with caution, friends.
There are always cars out there that look great in pictures and in real life, but once you get closer, you realize that they are no good, and will often lead to your financial demise. The E65 BMW 7 Series is a great example. Loathed by the mechanics who have to work on them, they have massive problems, expensive parts, and are often not taken care of the way that they should be. The term money pit applies to a lot of these. Thankfully, with the Surfwrench’s Used Car Check, you can avoid these sirens and continue on your voyage in something that will actually get you there.
Werewolf
Every car has its quirks. If yours is the type to stop working when you look at it the wrong way, our techs are here to help.
Sometimes cars are just strange. One minute, they are running great, the next, literally nothing is working. They won’t start, they won’t jump. They won’t go. It can be a million different things. Luckily, when the moon comes out from behind the clouds on your car, you can call Surfwrench. We work in all sorts of conditions and a technician can come to you any time in the day or night to get you back on the road.
Surfwrench is an automotive repair application based in Rochester, NY. Our technicians serve customers across Upstate New York with a variety of services including used car checks, automotive restoration, car maintenance, and more. For more information about our services, please like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, or check out our About Us page.